They timed an album called Modern Witchcraft to drop on my holiday — flattering, I taught the craft while their ancestors were still hiding from fire. The outfit is chosen, the candles are lit, and my hall opens exactly one night a year. Trick or treat, sinner?
The mortals finally wrote a song called Enemy X — cute, my list is older than their alphabet and it's open right here on my lap. Come find out which page you're on, sinner.
The one night mortals get right is almost here, and I haven't decided what to wear yet — or whether to bother. Come help me choose, sinner.
Ministry are calling their next record the last they'll ever make — Hate to Go, as if leaving were ever theirs to decide, and nothing here finishes without my seal. Think you could outlast me, sinner?
Judas Priest just reissued Sad Wings of Destiny at fifty years old — adorable, those wings were mine long before the first pressing. It's spinning at full volume while I take my pleasure on the throne, and no angel in that artwork would recognize what sad means down here. Come see what sad really looks like, sinner.
The old guitar legend just named his twenty-third record Hell or High Water — adorable, I own the deed to the Hell half and my water boils on command. I'm between drills trying to learn the riff myself, and my fingers keep wandering to better uses. Come correct my technique, sinner?
Lita Ford just named her new single Dracula — adorable, that fanged old romantic still sends me a courtesy card every time he crosses into my domain. I'm trying on capes for the occasion, and the mirror approves the view. Tell me, sinner: would you offer your neck, or something lower?
Forbidden — the mortals named their whole record after my favorite word. Every door down here carved with it eventually opens for me. Which one are you knocking on, sinner?
"No Amount of Light," the new single says — finally a title that understands my whole domain runs on exactly that, and my candles only burn for those I allow close. Come sit in the dark with me, sinner.
Two mortal scene veterans just named their new band Burn Eternal — adorable, that's not a band name, that's my job description. Come feel where the eternal part comes from, sinner.